Me, myself and eye.

Well, the Washington Capitals went down the tubes after losing to the Montreal Canadiens in a 7th game showdown. I admit, pretty sad choke job but they did run into some spectacular goal-tending. Oh well, that's hockey for ya.....anything is possible!!!
Sucked to watch the Caps piss away a 3-1 series lead though.

I had last Friday off from work and thought it best to get cracking on the backyard. Namely, mowing the lawn for the 1st time this year and trimming the edges with a whacker afterwards. I also purchased a Steel Trellis Panel Gazebo that I really wanted to assemble so my wife, daughter and I could spent more time outside in the backyard and enjoy some shade in style.
That way we could eat more meals outside....courtesy of my BBQ!!

So, to begin I had to commence a poo-pick-up first because our dogs like to pinch daily loafs pretty much everywhere. It's insane!!
All I know is that going over a pooch-pile with the lawn mower is not always the smartest of idea's. I would go into to further detail, but identifying the subject matter and where I am "going to" in respect to a vivid recollection, I stop there as the blanks can be filled.

Anyways, I mowed the lawn and it was looking less like giant green patches of pubes and more like turf worthy of some football.
I forgot to put on my protective glasses for weed whacking and "something" came back and whacked me in my left eye at a very high speed. It stunned me but could have been worse. I shook it off and kept on going for another minute.

But wait, there's more.................

I then put together the Gazebo in the backyard and was installing the mosquito netting and the weirdest thing happened. I hung 40 plastic snap hooks to hold the netting up and when I was trying to snap this one hook together I noticed that the plastic molding in the "eye-hole" of the snap was a little extra and was preventing the hook from snapping properly. So, I just snapped it thru forcefully and since I was forcing it (facing me).....I shot that extra piece of molding directly into my eye.
WTF???!!!
Honestly, did I not see the eyepatch on my astrological symbol that day for my horoscope?

My wife (deservedly) gave me some heck the first time because I should been wearing protective glasses. The second event just left her shaking her head and thinking that I was a pure tard and that I should probably wear those
same glasses for making a sandwich, brushing my teeth,taking out the garbage...........I think you get the picture.

Also, while assembling the Gazebo, I drove my screwdriver into my left thumb for good measure. It's what we men do to christen projects of importance..then we savor the moment with blinding pain and F-bombs.
I don't know if my wife will endorse the name " OWFuckyousonofabitchOW!" for our new Sultan's tent...but hey, feels more personable with a name.

My point? Oh, that's right.
You know the phrase "all the blood, sweat and tears that went into this!".
Well, I gave that phrase a lasting endorsement with:
1.) The blood I left on the inside of the tarp cover (when the blood blister exploded on my thumb).
2.) The sunburn on the back of my neck and arms from the lawn maintenance and assembly of the Gazebo in the hot sun (without Sunblock & yes my wife was impressed about that too). Do I ever learn?
2.) My eye that continued to water soon after giving it a second beating because the first attempt at instant blindness (apparently) wasn't enough!

I am happy to report that I did manage to put together a 'big plastic play-station thing' (with a slide) for my daughter without sustaining any physical injuries.

There may still be hope for me yet!

The puck stops here!

To the point: We LOST!
McNorn finally pumped one in on the doorstep, but when you lose it don't mean jack! I am pissed, but moving on. I'm also at work running on fumes as we had a couple of "pops" after the game and I was up by 5:10 am.
Ugggggggggggghhhhh.

We were up 2-0 after the first and when the final buzzer sounded it was 6-3. We ran outta gas mid 2nd period and the refs were (pardon my french) FUCKIN' BRUTAL.
I mean, a couple of games ago they put their whistles away and let the boys play. Although very chippy at times, the outcome belonged to us. Last night they had their whistles out and were blowin' more than George Michael in a public washroom after midnight. The refs made brutal calls all night and THEY decided the outcome with a couple of 'key' bullshit calls against us. I'm not kidding, they were horrible and at the worst possible times! Trust me....this is not sour grapes over the loss........it's 'how' the loss was constructed.

Whatever.........besides the final outcome, it was a good season. I wonder how many weeks it will take before I go thru hockey withdrawal????
Won't be long!

Think I sharted......too tired to check.

Championship

Today is the day!!!
The final hockey game of the year for McNorn and the Boozehounds. We play for all the marbles tonight and if we lose, well, who knows when next (or if at all) we get a shot to be CHAMPS. The team we play are a bunch of meat-heads, so we will have to play hard and disciplined. That includes me not hammering anybody into the boards (again) if the refs have tucked away their whistles for the night. You blind, stupid and bitter? Hey.....you can be hockey ref too in our league! Going to go out and play my game and have fun.....and............WIN!!

The Caps have the Habs in a stranglehold going up 3-1 in their series heading back to Washington. Next game goes Friday and I fully expect Ovie and the gang to put the final nail in the coffin. His two goals last night in the 6-3 victory were vintage Ovechkin and NO I am not in love with him.

It's amazing how many people will glance at you nervously and then avoid eye contact with you when you look up from reading "American Psycho" on the GO train. It's a book.........not a 'handbook' people. Although I did like glancing up at this small Iranian dude sitting across from me with (ahem) 'cold dead eyes'. If he could have been beamed outta there by Scotty he would have.

That's right, I'm Patrick Bateman bitch!

GO HOUNDS GO!

I try not to laugh

But it seems like it's impossible...!!

Never judge a book by it's crazy

My work can be interesting place to say the least. I should start by saying that most of the people that I work with are pretty damn cool. Sure, like all workplaces, there are a fair share of knobs too that are avoided as best as possible. Overall, I do my thing and don't have Hitler to report to so

there is no need to complain.

In addition, I also get to meet new and "unusual" people everyday. In fact, I have struck up some unexpected correspondence with a female client who attends our office on a regular basis. We had only spoke on two previous occasions but she felt compelled to leave a letter at my desk to read. I am happy that I am able to build such a rapport with the public.
Her letter read as follows:

To (*Me) *omitting real name

I was hoping to see what was going on in the meeting without being seen or identified but can't.

Possibilities:
The Persons in the work room are moved into heavier conflict of interest.
So:
1) These people could become instructed to stalk me in volume out on the street if they were shown a picture of me.
2) These people could pose as clients with the workers in conflict and cause something in the office to get rid of me.
....or. ?
I need to do some thinking...
I will talk to you on another day when I figure out safety measures.....

(end)

This just in: WTF?????
Sounds like somebody had a bowl of paranoia for breakfast with a side
order of 'can you tell that I'm crazy?'

She won't be the only one figuring out 'safety measures' today! LOL

The Boozehounds were victorious last Thursday (5-2) and this we play in the Championship final for the first time in approximately 10 years. Christ, can't believe it's been that long.
Too many first round "early choke-jobs exits" from the playoffs over the years. FINALLY, we got a shot at winning another title. I want to win so fucking bad I can taste it. McNorn is totally pumped and will skate his bag off every shift. I mean (afterall), another 10 years would make me 46 years old and McNorn would be more like "Mc-older-and-fatter". I'd rather win a title with some 'game' left in the tank instead of a somebody
noticing us win and say "How cute, look at those really old, shitty hockey players celebrating!"
My wife and daughter are coming to watch so I will make sure I don't trip over the blue-line or score on my own net.
Speaking of my daughter...........she "officially" was crawling for the first time yesterday and it was amazing. I was in pure dad mode taking pictures and video's of the whole thing. It will be a great keepsake.............so proud of my little Mouse. Time to accept the fact that she will be getting into E-V-E--R-Y-T-H-I-N-G soon enough!
Suppose I could get a leash? Might need some ice for my head if I suggest that one to the wife.
Truth be told; she is growing up way too fast!!
But hey, that's how it goes right??
She is my joy and I love her with all my heart.

The Capitals are tied at one a piece in their series with the Habs heading into game #3 tonight in Montreal. Should be a good one.
Ovechkin has regained his touch (absent from game #1) and will be a wrecking ball again tonight. Can't wait to see what his playoff beard look like by the time the cup final rolls around. He is pretty shaggy looking (in a connect the dots kind of way).

On the topic of beards, I think my wife might sleep with me again since mine has grown back. Truth be told, I don't shave much......as in never.
Generous stubble is my look (goatee, beard)....end of story. I have shaved only ONCE is the past five years that I have known my wife. I shaved last November and she pretty much cried out RAPE when I walked in the bedroom. She thought I looked "funny" and not like "me".
I can say (in retrospect) that I didn't disagree and was happy when the stubble came back. ANYWHO...........I trimmed my beard VERY short last week and it was more 'shadow' than anything else and again, the rape whistle almost came out.
After the initial shock of my trim, my wife then asked me if I took two showers because she thought she heard the shower turn on twice.
I started to laugh...........she was right on the money. I had placed a towel over the sink in the bathroom to catch all my stubble so a big mess
wouldn't ensue. Even did my armpit hair.........yes...........I like it shorter.
When I was done, I carefully folded over the towel to keep the trimmings secure until I brought them downstairs and outside to 'shake loose'.
This was a usual format for me.
Well, I took a shower and after exiting the tub I grabbed my towel and started drying myself off. I then paused for a second as I looked at my chest and wondered if 36 is the age of accelerated chest hair growth for men? Something didn't add up and I didn't "get-it" yet. I looked in the mirror and much to my surprise, it dawned on me that I had used the towel with the trimmings to dry off my wet body........ I was turning into a 'weird-wolf'. I laughed out-loud for a second then jumped back into the shower to rinse off my stupidity. Have to admit, it was pretty funny.
Don't think I want armpit hair stuck to my upper lip again.........look liked Charlie Chaplin's perverted brother.

Suspended

Despite appealing the BULLSHIT ruling, McNorn will not be suiting up for tonight's action. Suspended for one game and if we win tonight, I'll be returning to the Boozehounds line-up for the semi-finals. If we lose, then I will be pissed until the start of next season.
Elation or deflation..........we'll see.
One last time: BULLSHIT!!

Watched a bit of the NHL playoffs last night.
Man.........I LOVE this time of year.
The Capitals start their series with the Canadiens tonight and I have my Ovechkin jersey ready to go once I get home. My prediction is that the Caps wrap the series in 5. I also predict that if I don't hit the beer store beforehand that I might regret it. I will call my buddies on the Hounds to see how we did in the game. I cannot and will not go to a game that I am not playing in. Trust me, if you have "been that guy" before, you would know how much it sucks to be a reduced to a cheerleader who becomes in charge of "waterbottles and well wishes". For a gamer like me..........it's a slow killer.
Shifting gears now.....
I can't believe my daughter is turning 1 year old next month. Time goes by so fast it's scary. I'm enjoying every second with her and she makes me laugh.....she already has quite the sense of humor and does things that she knows will make me laugh.
My wife is such a great mother and I love watching them together.
I am almost positive now that the Purolator dude is not the real father.

To JIM (convener of the ASHL), who upheld the suspension........
THIS FINGER IS FOR YOU!!!

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly:

The Good:
-The Boozehounds won 5-3 against a team that played hard but "cheap" for 3 periods. McNorn was unable to bulge the twine, but did out-muscle the traffic in front of the net to help set up the first two goals of the game. Third round (this Thursday) he we come!!

-The Leafs put an enjoyable exclamation mark on their last goal of the season in overtime against the Habs. Thanks for the memories "Rosy Red Cheeks" Kaberle and enjoy your summer until you are traded in June.

-Alex Ovechkin scored 50 goals (again) and the Caps look poised to take a serious run at Lord Stanley's mug. Make no mistake, even though the Leafs are close to being a Special Olympics team.........they will always be my team. That being said..........the Caps are my "other" team and I want them to win it all.

-Matt Cooke got knocked the fuck out by rookie Evander Kane. I mean, he got dropped faster than a prom date with a chastity belt! He is pure cheap-shot artist and all round rat. Never fights the big boys but never has a problem fighting the lesser known smaller players when he isn't busy HIDING. I'm sure the image of him laying on the ice taking a "fist induced nap" made Marc Savard and the rest of the hockey world smile!! Hey Ratt Cooke, ever wonder who
Evander was named after.......think about it douche-bag!

The Bad:
- McNorn after being smeared along the boards while following the puck ("interference"), hooked across his stomach with authority ( ala Freddy Krueger...."hooking") and finally having my feet taken out from underneath me with the puck in the middle of the ice in front of the refs ("tripping") and there being ZERO penalties.....McNorn got EVEN!
With 2 minutes left in the game and the chippyness increasing, I chased down a puck to the side boards in our end with a teammate and opposing player. As I was arriving in 'coast mode' about a foot away from the enemy with the puck I said "Fuck It" and pasted him to the boards.
I arrived in ill humor and he paid the price.
Then I did..........I got the old "5 and a game" and was ejected.
Bullshit refs gave me a "body check major call".
Their interpretation was that it was also Boarding..........complete crap!!
Whatever, we won and the beer I brought was GOOD and ICE COLD!

The Ugly:
-Turns out they suspended me for the next game. I nailed the guy no doubt, but with little momentum at the boards. Since the wimp got up slow, they gave me a boarding penalty? I hit him on an angle and it wasn't from behind.But really, should I have expected those refs to get ANY call right? Stevie Wonder could have reffed a better game that night with his harmonica!!
I will appeal the suspension (in the ADULT SAFE HOCKEY LEAGUE) but the game time on Thursday is a deal breaker anyways...........I finish work 15 minutes after the puck will
have been already dropped.

We'll see what happens next.

Number two and don't forget the brew!

The Boozehounds are gearing up for their second playoff game of the year and it's a WIN and move on or LOSE and that's all she wrote for the season.The team we played last week (and tied) played the team we meet tonight and lost last night.
Jeezus. I had to re-read that one too for a second.

Game day notes:

1.) McNorn needs to score and know I can. I haven't been snake-bit like this for while but as long as the chances are there, so too will be the reward if I stick to my game. That would be a garbage goal or timely chip-in while paying "the price' in front of the net. I'm a self-professed "Power-Grinder"and ugly goals are pretty goals if they are the result of hard work. They ALL count and don't ask where they came from. Kinda like the ugly 'unknowingly adopted' kids looking
at their great looking parents and ignoring their hunches.
If I have to blow a dart in the neck of the opposing goalie I will.
It's the playoffs............just have my lawyer ready.

2.) Skate like Richard Simmons is behind you trying to give you a pant-less hug.That vision might actually make several of my teammates come to a complete stop (in hopes of sweating to his oldie). Speed is my game and a relentless forecheck that will force turn-overs and make things happen down-low is the puck presence I need.

3) I realize that the name of our league is the ASHL (Adult Safe Hockey League) and my wife loves to remind me of that fact. Regardless, it's the playoffs and everything is turned up a few notches once you qualify for the post season. She would also be the first to point out the fact that EVERY team makes the playoffs.McNorn ignores her and she dishes out a deserving "you're an idiot" head shake.
Safe?
Automatic playoffs?
Fuck me!
Sounds like a hug might break out in the corners.
If somebody refers to me as their Christian brother out there they might eat an elbow!

4.) I have been informed that is my turn to bring a case of beer for the team. This is as important as the winning goal. I shit you not. If you lose, the focus quickly shifts to "at least we have cold beer waiting for us" to take the sting outta a crappy game.Win and you sip from the nectar of the gods and it compliments all the "we are so great" talk around
the locker room. Buy a "cheap buck-a-beer" case and serve it without the chill of ice beforehand and you are a total dickwad.
Makes a loss feel that much worse and doesn't get you many passes from line-mates the next game. The same scenario 'with' ice is slightly better but makes you an official cheap bastard and the butt of all
jokes.

McNorn says.................
Treat your turn for bringing beer like it's your wedding anniversary:
1.) Don't forget or your dead.
2.) A cheap or lazy gift will be immediately (or eventually) detected and met with displeasure.
3.) A winning result counts the most (see 1&2) but feels better when you SCORE!

Lets go HOUNDS!!!!!

One game left...

Ashes to Ashes
Dust to Dust
Another Season
Another Bust

For Those About To Golf....We Salute You!

The Leafs gathered at centre ice, raised their sticks and saluted the crowd after the game to say thanks to all the home fans for their support over the season. I am pretty sure that I saw some salutes going back the other way from some of the fans. With that 'middle' finger proudly raised high, I am certain "Leaf Nation" was gesturing that the players were still #1 in their hearts.

Or, pending scrutiny of my interpretation.........that the Leafs 'suck ass' and should duck for cover before they get hit by a projectile of opportunity.

1 down...............2 to go..............and Kaberle is probably putting his house up for sale as we speak!

Ice Chips: Hounds and Leafs

McNorn didn't bury the biscuit last Thursday, but we did manage to skate to a 2-2 draw. The Boozehounds are still alive.
I had a helper on the first goal and the wheels felt alright for somebody who hadn't played in a couple weeks.
I was all pumped for overtime when I noticed both teams were getting ready to
shake hands for a game well played.
Turns out that there is NO overtime in this round-robin style playoffs.
WTF!!!!?????
I love the tension and excitement of playing in an extra sudden death period.
I felt cheated.
Anyways, our next game is Friday and they count total 'goals for' to determine who marches on and who complains they got hosed by the refs that cost them the game.
Translation: Play balls out for 3 periods and pepper the goalie without remorse.
There is no way in hell I wanna look back at our season and think of what could have been. We have a good squad and I know we can win.
Leafs have 3 games left before the season is over..............I will do my best to watch them. It's like saying goodbye to an old friend that you know has a terminal illness and you won't ever see them again.
In this case, it's the 2009/2010 Toronto Maple Leafs.
You just hope that reincarnation will be one hell of a joy ride and not another dismal sequel.

My name is McNorn and I AM a LEAF fan!
See you at AA! : )

MMMMMMMMMMeat!!

What an amazing Easter long-weekend that was. The weather was unbelievable and so was the amount of food I ate. All washed down with beer for good measure of course.
Honest to god, after coming home from my parents house on Sunday I felt like I could give birth. Either that or a visit from that torso-bursting Alien was on the way. Myself, I prefer the 'hat and cane dance number' Alien from Spaceballs.........because.......well.....let's be honest.....it had talent did it not?
I just remember the last words of my brother about a half hour after dinner: "Dude, did you try mom's cupcakes?" He gave me the "look" that meant if I didn't try it I was (in fact) a loser!
It was our Mom's baking and she churns out pure Picasso's from that oven of hers! I was already feeling 'Marlon Brando bloated' and knew I would be leaving with my belt in a bag anyways
so I ate 3!! They were sooooo good and the last one hit the coated pit of my stomach like a lead pipe!

The day before at my wife's Aunt & Uncles house we had a blast. A great afternoon of chillin' in their backyard with appetizers
followed by what can only be described as the 'mighty meat haul of April'.
If meat was marijuana that day then Yes....Yes I did inhale.
A steak the size of the large plate it was served on was placed in front of me.
It was smothered by (what looked like) brontosaurus ribs and was flanked by a baked potato the size of a NFL football and various delicious beans and greens.
I am not ashamed to say that even after finishing my meal that I was giving my wife's steak the vulture eyes.
I am a man of class though and gave her less than half of the portion of steak that she brought home with her steak and eggs the next day!
The greater helping went to the patience of the vulture.

Paying the ultimate price today, I am having a large salad for lunch.
Oh the humiliation of having chick peas as a topping over chicken or turkey!
Not for my sins, but because that was all that could be located in the fridge on a Tuesday morning that feels like a Monday.

Turkey carving

Going home to a nice Turkey dinner tonight.
Right on. Right on.
No special occasion, just had a nice size turkey "hanging out" in our freezer for a while and we thought "let's cook that sucker!"
It was cooked yesterday, but finished too late to eat.
I was basting the Turkey around 8 PM when my wife was talking to her Dad on the phone. There was a suggestion on the phone to cut into the inner leg to see if the turkey was done. Our family has no shortage of "jokes" and before I knew it, there was reference to 'me' as the turkey and the thought that it was cruel to suggest that I carve myself.
I just chuckled quietly to myself as I appreciate a good joke.

After carving a piece of the 'real' turkey, I soon realized as I dropped the knife
into my toe that the joke had taken self-fulfilling prophetic turn.
I didn't really react out-loud much and was just happy that the knife bounced away and didn't stake me to the floor.
My wife retrieved the knife from behind me and I was just standing there waiting for the red stuff to make an appearance.
Wait for it.....wait for it...yep...there was the little stain in the white sock I was waiting for.
It was kinda funny.
I had a nice drip of blood coming from the inner of my toe, but after washing it out it wasn't much at all had a good laugh with my father-in-law on the phone.

In that conversation, I was the turkey 'again' and he told me to stand up for myself and to avoid be carved by anybody!

Back 2tha Grind

The weekend came and went 'just like that' (insert finger snap here!).
Jeeezus......WTF......and is it Friday yet?
Familiar places and half asleep faces all the way into work where I now sit in the
very place I licked my lips in anticipation of the weekend last Friday.
Man, feels like I never left.
I have an extra short work schedule on tap for the week; so I'd be crazy to complain. Weekend was awesome. It was all about hanging with my wife

and absolutely cute daughter.
Did the 'Earth Day' thing (candles no electricity) for an hour and a half.
It was relaxing and I was able to incorporate a *beer into the mix.
I'm very good at that (*situational beverage management).

After 'Candle-time', watched Hockey Night in Canada (HNIC) on
Saturday and the Leafs beat the Rangers early in Overtime. It was a bit boring at times, but the ending was great.
Can you hear the April chants of "Golf Leafs Golf.......Golf Leafs Golf" yet? They are not far away. My own hockey team "The Boozehounds" have their 1st playoff game of the year this Thursday.
Third person reference warning: McNorn is pumped and ready to go after missing the last 3 regular season games due to various reasons.
I HATE missing games!!
I need a goal too like Kid Rock needs a shower.
McNorn is overdue I'm going to bulge the twine if it kills me!

Stuck here at work for another hours and then the rat race begins.
The countdown to the weekend is in FULL EFFECT!
Not saying that I'll push grandma outta my way as I hustle for the 4:48 Train, but
she better get that plastic hip to boogie to one side or the other if I'm looking
for "on time" pole position.
I ain't playin' on Fridays!
I can't wait to spend the morning with my daughter while my wife is out for
Yoga. This work thing really get's in the way of what I'd rather be
doing!!
Ever notice that everybody is having a pure love-fest on Fridays?
Oh sure. EVERYBODY is your best friend on the last day of the week and the
weather is "Amazing" outside and it's "any plans?" and "seeya later, have a great weekend!"
Then Monday rears it's ugly head and a good percentage of the peeps revert back to douche-mode.
The sobriety that Monday morning brings to is more powerful than the illusion of "freedom" on a late Friday afternoon.
We take what we can get.
I'll be sure to enjoy mine..with the one's I love.
(& a Leaf game on Saturday night).

Gas up that walker grandma.....

So the Leafs won last night.
Against Atlanta.
They (the Thrashers) 'might' squeak into the playoffs. They are still alive.
We (the Leafs) are guaranteed to miss the playoffs for the 5th straight season.
DOH!!

What's worse?

ATLANTA:
To get that close only to get a sniff and get a "seeya later fuckface" salute from the team above them in the standings who makes it to the postseason......
OR
TORONTO:
To guarantee (again) in mid-April the best tee-off time at the most preferable golf courses that Toronto and the GTA have to offer?

You decide.

Me? I want a Stanley Cup before I am wheelchair bound (in adult diapers) suffering from Alzheimer's and pissing myself every time I wheel past a microwave oven that is on.

Hi and welcome to the "House of McNorn".
No brainer alert: I AM McNORN.
So this is my first foray in the world of blogging.
I do so because I love to write and need some kind of an outlet to
express whatever seems to be filling this big fat head of mine lately.
Tried pen and a pad to jot down my thoughts, but one way or another it
became a grocery list. I'm sure the last scratch pad that lists my life's ambitions and failures followed by eggs, bagels, chips, chicken and beer is still riding shotgun in a Wallmart shopping cart.
I'm sure somebody has read it and has wondered if it was a suicide note followed by hostage demands.
Talk about fucked!
The keyboard is much more my style anyways and spellcheck can take the tard outta anybody's best effort.
Although I type chop-stick style (index fingers only) I can chop out thoughts pretty efficiently.
Got callus to prove it man.
I like to read and laugh outloud and if not for my own entertainment, I
hope you enjoy the ramblings of the warped.
It's funny to think that I have wrestled with the idea of doing this
for quite some time now.
Translation: I'm lazy.
Also, I've always thought that there are way too many people out there writing about nothing at all.
Don't even get me started about Twitter and "tweets"..........I'd like to
"tweet" them all to some cyanide pills.
Fact is, the day to day stuff in life is about everything AND nothing at all.
Substance doesn't have to be found dry humping the pant-leg of relevance
to be interesting or to be validated as a worthy read.
I say this after reading a few blogs just to see what was out there and what others
thought would be interesting to write about.
Yeah sure, some of what I read was so boring that I thought punching myself in the face
might be more exciting. Other stuff I read was interesting, funny and some even sad.
There is something out there for everybody.
That's the ticket.
That's why this forum works and as I read over a bit of my words I realize that I am enjoying
writing because of the release and satisfaction it brings.
Makes my chopsticks numb and my nipples hard.
Some quick facts:
I'm married to the most wonderful woman in the world and have
a daughter who is going to turn 10 months in mere days and I am crazy about her.
I love being a Dad.
I have a job that is "interesting" to say the least in respect to the observation of "human behaviour".
Might even slap in the world "abnormal" as it tastefully applies.
Got a story I'll tell later about a crack-head who hit the jack-pot in the disabled washroom
with a scratch card.
Trust me. Leaving work is like leaving MARS to return to earth until the next shuttle lift-off
at 0630 HRS. The space craft I speak off is aptly named W-O-R-K.
Where was I?
Oh yeah.
I'm turning 36 this year and I love hockey!
I mean...........I LOVE HOCKEY.
It is my passion and I fully admit to being a FANatic.
McNorn is actually my hockey nickname.
I play in a beer league with my buddies and have done so for many years.
The story behind the nickname was a misprint on the beer league website.
Put it this way, I have a last name that sounds like "MacLevin"
and somehow after printing my name down on the game sheet before we played
this one night.............the person looked at my scribble and came up with "McNorn" and
entered it on our team roster.
Um...yeah. I can see how that can happen. Kinda like reading Hilton and entering Hitler instead??
Good help is hard to find.
I thought it was funny, but would probably correct them on their little error.
A game later, I was on a two on one with my buddy Stu and I had the puck as
I could hear him bashing his stick away on the ice calling for the puck "McNorn........McNorn".
At first, it didn't quite register.
Then again, with more lungs than the last "McNooooorn.............McNooooooooorn!"
The look on his face was classic as was mine as I realized that he was yelling at me!
I was McNorn.
I started laughing and the play went sour.
I got back to the bench and we had a great laugh.
That was it.........
I Think everybody deep down inside wants a cool nickname.
Don't know if cool is the word, but since then........I've been McNorn and nothing else.
Does sound like a good hockey handle though.
I think that every time I sign that name on the game sheet!
Keeping with hockey.
To be honest; I'd sell my soul to the red bastard below to play in the NHL.
Sound extreme? I know that there are millions of hockey lovers out there that would agree
to the same sentiment (minus the prospect of having Lucifer's nutsack draped across their nose for eternity).
It's kinda what it's like to be a Toronto Maple Leaf fan though!
YES.......I AM ONE OF "THOSE".
All the Leaf nay-sayers state that "When HELL freezes over" is the date we (the blue and white lobotomy recipients ) sip from Lord Stanley's mug.
To say that a few "TML prayers" have gone unheard in the night would be an understatement!
Ozzy sang in a Black Sabbath tune "Satan laughing spreads his wings".
Well, maybe he amped it up and was a little more "creative" this
time around as he watches the Leaf faithful suffer.
Maybe "Satan laughing drapes his.........."