Tuesday, April 6, 2010

MMMMMMMMMMeat!!


What an amazing Easter long-weekend that was. The weather was unbelievable and so was the amount of food I ate. All washed down with beer for good measure of course.
Honest to god, after coming home from my parents house on Sunday I felt like I could give birth. Either that or a visit from that torso-bursting Alien was on the way. Myself, I prefer the 'hat and cane dance number' Alien from Spaceballs.........because.......well.....let's be honest.....it had talent did it not?
I just remember the last words of my brother about a half hour after dinner: "Dude, did you try mom's cupcakes?" He gave me the "look" that meant if I didn't try it I was (in fact) a loser!
It was our Mom's baking and she churns out pure Picasso's from that oven of hers! I was already feeling 'Marlon Brando bloated' and knew I would be leaving with my belt in a bag anyways
so I ate 3!! They were sooooo good and the last one hit the coated pit of my stomach like a lead pipe!

The day before at my wife's Aunt & Uncles house we had a blast. A great afternoon of chillin' in their backyard with appetizers
followed by what can only be described as the 'mighty meat haul of April'.
If meat was marijuana that day then Yes....Yes I did inhale.
A steak the size of the large plate it was served on was placed in front of me.
It was smothered by (what looked like) brontosaurus ribs and was flanked by a baked potato the size of a NFL football and various delicious beans and greens.
I am not ashamed to say that even after finishing my meal that I was giving my wife's steak the vulture eyes.
I am a man of class though and gave her less than half of the portion of steak that she brought home with her steak and eggs the next day!
The greater helping went to the patience of the vulture.

Paying the ultimate price today, I am having a large salad for lunch.
Oh the humiliation of having chick peas as a topping over chicken or turkey!
Not for my sins, but because that was all that could be located in the fridge on a Tuesday morning that feels like a Monday.

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