Friday, April 9, 2010

Number two and don't forget the brew!




The Boozehounds are gearing up for their second playoff game of the year and it's a WIN and move on or LOSE and that's all she wrote for the season.The team we played last week (and tied) played the team we meet tonight and lost last night.
Jeezus. I had to re-read that one too for a second.

Game day notes:

1.) McNorn needs to score and know I can. I haven't been snake-bit like this for while but as long as the chances are there, so too will be the reward if I stick to my game. That would be a garbage goal or timely chip-in while paying "the price' in front of the net. I'm a self-professed "Power-Grinder"and ugly goals are pretty goals if they are the result of hard work. They ALL count and don't ask where they came from. Kinda like the ugly 'unknowingly adopted' kids looking
at their great looking parents and ignoring their hunches.
If I have to blow a dart in the neck of the opposing goalie I will.
It's the playoffs............just have my lawyer ready.

2.) Skate like Richard Simmons is behind you trying to give you a pant-less hug.That vision might actually make several of my teammates come to a complete stop (in hopes of sweating to his oldie). Speed is my game and a relentless forecheck that will force turn-overs and make things happen down-low is the puck presence I need.

3) I realize that the name of our league is the ASHL (Adult Safe Hockey League) and my wife loves to remind me of that fact. Regardless, it's the playoffs and everything is turned up a few notches once you qualify for the post season. She would also be the first to point out the fact that EVERY team makes the playoffs.McNorn ignores her and she dishes out a deserving "you're an idiot" head shake.
Safe?
Automatic playoffs?
Fuck me!
Sounds like a hug might break out in the corners.
If somebody refers to me as their Christian brother out there they might eat an elbow!

4.) I have been informed that is my turn to bring a case of beer for the team. This is as important as the winning goal. I shit you not. If you lose, the focus quickly shifts to "at least we have cold beer waiting for us" to take the sting outta a crappy game.Win and you sip from the nectar of the gods and it compliments all the "we are so great" talk around
the locker room. Buy a "cheap buck-a-beer" case and serve it without the chill of ice beforehand and you are a total dickwad.
Makes a loss feel that much worse and doesn't get you many passes from line-mates the next game. The same scenario 'with' ice is slightly better but makes you an official cheap bastard and the butt of all
jokes.

McNorn says.................
Treat your turn for bringing beer like it's your wedding anniversary:
1.) Don't forget or your dead.
2.) A cheap or lazy gift will be immediately (or eventually) detected and met with displeasure.
3.) A winning result counts the most (see 1&2) but feels better when you SCORE!

Lets go HOUNDS!!!!!


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